Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Beauty treatment or Torture?...

I've probably mentioned a gazillion times on this (because I'm super duper excited!) that me and some of my girlfriends are heading to a Spa at the end of this month for some serious pampering..
We're paying a really good price for an over night stay with breakfast and one beauty treatment included, I've chosen a massage since I've never had one in my life. We also plan on using the mud baths which fit four people and should be absolutely hilarious, relaxing and full of the banter! I want one more treatment but couldn't quite decide which one, and having never been to a spa I opted to Google some good treatments.. that's where things got a little crazy! I sat on the computer for hours reading about these strange, some disgusting and almost torturous beauty treatments and decided I'd fill you ladies in on some of the extremes that people go to just to be beautiful! Warning: This is not for the feint hearted...

Munch my toes little fishies!
I decided to go with this one first as I've had it done myself. Some time last year I couldn't help but notice these little salons popping up all over town with fish tanks for your feet. 'Garra Rufa' are little fishies with no teeth that nibble away at the dead skin on your feet. One day myself, my mam, my dad and my sister were walking by and decided to be brave and try it out family pan! I, being ashamed of my tubby toe and awfully ugly feet, was mortified and couldn't have gotten my feet in the tank any quicker so the slightly hot guy working there wouldn't catch a glimpe... and my was it hilarious! My mam has had it done a few times and told us that it's quite 'therapeutic'. I on the other hand found it quite the opposite... I laughed for about five minutes straight at the ticklish sensation and my fathers hilarious facial expression as the little monsters attacked his claws, I mean feet.. My sister spent the whole time freaking out and shouting IT HURTS!.. It didn't hurt she's just a little dramatic... All in all it was a fun experience but not something I'd do regularly as a beauty treatment... My feet were awfully soft for weeks after! These tanks also come in full body size for those of us who don't suffer from the tickles. 

Sssssssooothing!
What seems like an episode of Fear Factor to some (Including me) is seen as a popular, relaxing spa treatment to others! It started with a woman called Ada Barak who runs a spa in Isreal. She came up with a beauty treatment/ massage which involves six snakes, non venomous of course, being placed on your body and allowed to ssslither around... charging seventy quid a pop. I remember reading about this lady years ago when she made headlines for her crazy spa idea. I don't know about you ladies but I couldn't be any less relaxed knowing that there are six living, moving, biting, serpants sliming around back there... 

Gold dahling Gold!
Lets be honest.. If I won the lottery tomorrow and had 30 million euro to spend stupidly, I'd be one of the many women that attend high class salons and get 24 Carat gold applied to my face in a specific method to give me shining, less wrinkled sparkling skin.. yes real gold.. It's meant to be quite expensive, unfortunately I've been unable to find the price as these salons seem to be quite private about how many blips their earning per facial.. 

Sing sweet nightingale... Now poo on my face.
Excuse the filthy headings, I'm in shock and with shock comes my strange sense of humour! lol.. So what's in this facial? Bitta rice, bitta bran, bitta water, bitta... what? Sterilised bird poo? And it costs an average of $180! Last time a bird decided to take a dump on me I looked up to the sky with my fists clenched and cursed him and his mother.. now people are actually paying what I'd consider big bucks to have it smeared all over their face to 'exfoliate out dirt and dust' and leave them feeling.. 'refreshed?' 
Cold cucumber slices placed on my eyes leave me feeling refreshed... not bird poo.

Baby foreskin? REALLY?...
...Yes really! Baby foreskin was originally made into a healing cream for burn victims, that's probably what brought on the idea of an anti-ageing moisturiser made of the same thing. Known as TNS the cream costs 130 quid on average and is known to have great results! The only cons are.. 'It has a sour smell', and It's made of baby foreskin! wtf?

WhalePuke no.5...
Ambergris, a property in whale puke, which is used in perfumes. It is known to contain chemicals that attract the male species and make you Irresistable.. basically if you wear it you'll most likely find yourself a nice chap.. eww. Fortunately perfumes containing this are now banned from the US and many other countries under animal cruelty legislations. Thank god for that, Less whales are dying and less ladies are spritzing whale puke all over themselves in order to find a man.

Leech me...
Having read 'Lemony Snickets A Series Of Unfortunate Events' in my youth I've grown up to believe that Leeches are BAD.. They ate Aunt Josephine and we do not like them!!!
But to others, such as Demi Moore who openly admitted to doing it on live TV, Leeches are seen as a form of detox and for others a reduction method for hair loss. It all dates back to Indian tradition when blood sucking leeches were used to remove toxic blood. Me no Likey.

The slime of one Snail...
Being a pro snail collector in my youth lead me to believe that snail slime is gross.. but nowadays it's being used in moisturisers to help heal acne scars and other blemishes. Known to contain zinc, Iron, glycoprotein enzymes and all these other big words that I'm not arsed writing.. My point is, the stuff is meant to be good for you! Yuck!

Thank goodness the spa I'm going to doesn't have any of these treatments, I hope not anyways...
So have you ladies ever tried any of these? or WOULD you ladies ever try any of these?

x

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