Thursday, 21 November 2013

My most used phrases during winter!


Just a bit of an easy, breezy and hopefully a little humourous post today.
Winter is truly kicking in here in Ireland and while it has it's pro's.. (like wooly jumpers, cute hats, scarves and gloves and of course Christmas!) I always find myself focusing on it's cons.. I came up with this post sitting on the bus on my way home from work, some arsehole had decided it would be a good idea to open all of the windows, and I didn't want to be the loser that climbed over every old man, working woman and junkie to close them, so there I sat freezing my nips off, and thinking of all of my most commonly used phrases in the winter!


Illness related..

I've probably mentioned before that I have the shittiest immune system! Any bug going and I'll be sure to have it first!

'I'm feeling a bit congested..'
'Do we have any Manuka honey?'
'I'm feeling a bit congested.'
'Did you buy me Manuka honey?'
'Damn why does Manuka honey have to be so expensive?'
'Who ate all the Panadol?'
'Oh it was me..'
'Do we have any vicks?'
Can you get me some more Panadol?'
'I'm feeling a bit congested..'
'Ive a bit of a tickle in my throat.. and some congestion..'
'Cough, cough, phglem, cough..'
'Are you sure you can't get swine flu twice? I'm feeling a bit congested!'
'I'm definitely coming down with something..'
'Feel my head..'
'Seriously? ANOTHER COLD SORE?'


Temperature related

'Is that window open?'
'Close the window!'
'I think I'm gonna take a nice hot bath.'
'Why is the window open?'
'Jaysus it's baltic isn't it?'
'I'm definitely gonna have a nice hot bath.'
'Dad I know this is a recession but COME ON!'
'I mean whats the use in having central heating on if it's never going to get used?'
'That's it, I'm taking the bath!'
'I'm gonna need more fluffy socks!'
'Will you close the door I'm getting a bit of a draft!'
'Jaysis my nipples are about to crumble into a million pieces and fall off!'
'Does this coat look weird over this coat?'
'Who has the hot water bottle?'
'Where are all my fluffy socks?'
'Mam I promise that if you buy me an electric blanket I'll be careful and not set myself or the house on fire!'
'Come on mam this is the 21st century! Who doesn't believe in electric blankets?'
'We have a fire alarm for a reason! Or do you keep that turned off like the central heating?'
'I don't care who judges me, I'm wearing my fluffy socks to work!'
'Do these fluffy socks looks weird with these boots?'
'I'm not actually fat, I'm simply wearing twelve layers..'


Christmas related...


'So whats Santa bringing you?'
'What are you getting off santy?'
'Mam can we make a Christmas cake this year?'
'It takes how long?'
'Mam I seen a christmas cake in Dunnes for a tenner.. Let's get it!'
'Here lads, are we doing KK this year, I'm broke like!'
'Ahh I'm not getting anything this year.. Recession yano?
'Mam can I get a phone for Christmas? And a camera, ipod, underwear, makeup, art supplies and maybe some Lush goodies..'
'Ooooh that would make a great stocking filler!'
'After all there's only 43 sleeps til Christmas..'
'I'm gonna buy all my presents early this year!'
'I'm gonna be really organized this year..'
'I've to get who a present? Sure I don't even know her that well..'
'A boy? Ah I'll just grab him an aftershave..'
'What are you gonna buy your boyfriend? A nice bottle of aftershave is your best bet!'
'Excuse me, what's your cheapest aftershave?'
'This smells like reindeer farts... I'll take it!'
'Dad, I know it's Christmas Eve, but I need you to bring me to town.. I haven't got presents for anyone!'
'I'm giving up smoking for the new year..'
'I'm going to start excercising in the new year..'
'I know I said I'd do it last year, but I'm definitely gonna start eating healthy this new year..'
'Mam can we stuff our own turkey this year like the people on the telly?'
'Mam where's your hand going?'
'Mam I don't think you should be doing that to the turkey!'
'JESUS MAM HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT!'
'Happy Birthday J-dawg..'
'We all need to take a step back and remember the real meaning of Christmas.. Food and lot's of it!'




So if you managed to get through this mental post I'd love to know if you agree with any of the above statements?
Enlighten me.. whats your most used phrase during the winter?
Also if you'd like a nice Christmas treat for yourself enter my Lush Giveaway here!

x

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